Are we getting too sensitive??

Hi everyone!

So, I admit that I've been absolutely terrible at keeping up with the blog posts. I hate to use the phrase, 'life happens' because that would just be an even more terrible excuse as to why I haven't been posting. I believe that in life, if something is important to you, you WILL make time for it. No excuses. No if, ands, or buts.

Although my sorry excuse of not having time to post kinda is the truth, I think it's because there hasn't been a great deal of inspiration for me to write. Until last week.

I was at an event for one of my clubs and the idea struck me out of the blue.

Here it is: Why are celiacs or those on a gluten free diets so damn sensitive? 

Okay, so maybe I didn't need to use the word 'damn' but I think it just goes to show how much I didn't realize how sensitive I was about my own diet and people's opinions about it.

Let me key you in on this. Everyone knows that those with restricted diets who have to watch every single morsel that goes in their mouth have a difficult time finding safe, allergen friendly foods. But, where do we, as celiacs or gfree dieters, draw the line between not caring about our diet at all and caring too much? And is there even a possibility to care "too much"? It is our health in any case.

I'll give you an example: my family has been so supportive since my diagnosis and start of my gluten free diet. But on occasion, I'll get some of these comments:

Why are you being so picky? That's why you're so skinny and can't gain weight. 

A little bit is not going to hurt you- stop being so scared of everything. 

Etc etc the list goes on. So, how do I react to this? Of course, I react defensively. Here I am, having to eat a restricted diet that is hard as hell to follow and my own family is telling me how I should eat and making sneering comments about my diet and ultimately my personality. Sometimes, I'll get moments of complete support, almost over-supportive, and other times I'll get the comments above or get sarcastic replies to my questions of "Can I eat this? Is this safe?"

I get it. It's frustrating for those who aren't on a specialized diet to cater to those that are. Over the weekend, I learned a phrase that is surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) fit for this situation. It is from St. Francis who said, "...grant that I may not so much seek to be understood, as to understand." This quote symbolizes the traits of an effective listener, and in my case where I reacted defensively to my own family, I sought to be understood by them instead of trying to understand why they acted the way they did. This puts things in a whole new perspective.

For example, did I ever stop to think about how hard it would be for them to have to suddenly cater to a restricted diet? What about their own sacrifices in what they wanted to eat because they wanted to make me feel included so they perhaps sacrificed flavor, favorite foods or certain restaurants because of me? Did I ever think about how much they have already done for me and how much they have supported me thus far?

The answer is no. No, I really haven't. And now when I write this, I feel apologetic and guilty. Guilty for being defensive and for overreacting and self-victimizing myself.

So many celiacs I read about online and know in real life seem to self-victimize themselves. They have the mindset that no one can ever understand them, that they have to stick together because it's them against the world. But, I'm here to tell you that this mindset is so backwards. It actually hinders us from working toward a brighter, more accepting future for celiacs and those on gluten free diets.

If your friend gives you food with gluten, accept it with kindness and share it with someone who will enjoy it even if you can't eat it. It's not about the food, it's the thought that counts. If someone doesn't understand what gluten is or constantly forgets you're on a special diet, try not to take it personally. My motto is "educate, don't hate." If someone goes out of their way to cook something gluten free for you, don't sneer and give a disgusted face because you know it's full of cross contamination. Again, accept with kindness and graciousness knowing that in your heart, you are appreciative of their efforts to cater to you. Politely decline and give a thorough explanation without being overly sensitive. Remember that those who aren't on specialized diets will never truly understand what it's like to be on your diet, but appreciate those who make an effort to try and understand.

In the end, what I'm saying is again summed up by St. Francis's words: Seek to understand, not to be understood. So much of what we do and say powerfully affects the people around us. Be conscientious, be kind, and in the words of one of my good friends, always be charitable.     

~Kris 

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How often do you cheat?

So, what's the honest answer? Once, twice, three times? Or... is it too many times to possibly count?

Unfortunately, the last answer would be my honest answer. 

And no, I'm not talking about cheating on exams and the sort... well, even if I did, you would never know and I would never tell. 

AHEM. Well, no one's perfect yeah? :p  

Okay, so what am I talking about here? I am talking about cheating on your gluten free diet. 

Cheating, in this case, is purposefully breaking the strict oath you have taken as a gfreer to not consume any gluten containing products or use any dishes/utensils that have potential cross contamination and suffering the consequences afterward. 

Why in the world would anyone want to do that and risk their health?? 

That's actually a really good question to which I have some viable answers: 

First of all, no gfreer wants to be the spotlight of your dinner party/gathering with food. We can't help awkwardly standing out already since we have a restricted diet- yep, we're the ones analyzing the potluck food asking questions about what's in the sauce and holding up the line. <--I'm reallllyy good at that! But, hey sometimes, we cheat. And by cheat I mean if a food looks essentially gluten free except for maybe the sauce, some of us will eat it. I do. Sometimes I feel sick afterward, sometimes I have no reaction. It's really up to my GI tract's mood. The main point is, we do it to fit in. Which brings me to my next point...

Sometimes us gfreers find ourselves in a situation where the words "celiac disease" and "gluten" are non-existent. This has happened to me quite a few times when I eat at Asian restaurants or when I travel to Asian countries. NOBODY, and I repeat, NOBODY will know what you are talking about when you say you get stomach aches when you eat gluten. And although I could give them one of those nifty gfree dining cards, I bet you 10 million (well, if I had that much) that they would give me the wtf face and turn me away. So, what do I do? I cheat. I eat the stuff that's coated with soy sauce (although I try realllly hard to dip it in tea or wipe it off with a napkin before pushing it in my mouth). I eat gluten when I have no other choice. I eat it when it would be rude not to and when I'm not in the position to be making demands for food preparation. I do it so I seem like everyone else and not labeled as a "picky eater." 

I guess it can be difficult for those outside of the celiac circle to fully understand the plights of the gfreer, but I'm not expecting them to know everything there is to know about celiac disease and gluten. Although, if you make an honest and sincere effort to learn about it, let's just say that I will regard you highly. In other words, let's be best friends!! :) 

You know, one of the things I have learned since being on the diet is to be as accommodating and polite as possible while trying my best not to jeopardize my health and well being. One exposure to gluten, depending on the sensitivity of the individual, can take weeks or years to heal. I know that very well, yet I still do it. 

At the end of the day, it's impossible for me to be entirely gluten free unless I live in a cave (aka my apartment) and cook for myself all the time and never go out to eat... ever. And if I did, I would be the weirdo who would whip out some Tupperware, dump it on my plate and call it a day. Heck, maybe I'd eat right out of the container. 

Okay, mayyybe I wouldn't do that. At least not in public. The reality? I'd suggest a change of venue or eat beforehand and suggest a safe dessert place. 

Ahh, the subtle ways us gfreers can manipulate food choices!

Anyway, stay safe all you gfreers out there- make good choices and don't use me as a role model in this case. Everything else nice and good about my habits you can take, but do me a favor and leave my cheating habits behind if you can.  

After all, no one likes a cheater! 

-Kris

  

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