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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

How to become a Gluten Ninja and then some...


I've been on a gluten free diet for an upcoming 3 years now. (Boy, does time fly fast when you're avoiding all that gluten! haha)

ANYWAY, all lame jokes aside, I thought that by now I would know literally everything about gluten.

No, seriously.

If I was put on Jeopardy right now and they gave me this question:
These all have something in common: croutons, soy sauce, pastries, mochi from pinkberry
Without a moment's hesitation, I would answer with a resounding: WHAT IS GLUTEN?  
"Yes, I'll take Food Allergies for $200!"

Okay, that was really random. But, I can say with real honesty, that I am far from knowing everything there is to know about gluten.

However, in my defense, my gluten knowledge has definitely increased since being on the diet for this many sum of years. I have always thought about the accruing of gluten knowledge as power levels. Here's what I mean:

Level 1: Gluten noob 
Face it: you're a noob. You're new to the gluten scene and everything is just a huge question mark. You get paranoid about every single little microscopic thing- does this have gluten, or does that? OMG, my fork just touched your non-gfree pasta!!! Get away from meee- oh and you owe me a new fork because you just contaminated mine *scoff*. PLUS, you think everything about life sucks because you can't eat pizza...and cake.

Level 2: Gluten noob in training
So, you've been on the diet for a couple months or even a year now. Congratulations! At this time, you're now adequately equipped to brave the supermarkets with your new found skills of nutrition label checking and list of red flag vocab words. If there were a subject test on gluten vocabulary, you would ace it.

Level 3: Advanced gluten master 
At this point, you're far past your gluten noob days and you are now well seasoned. You've got a good grasp on what has gluten and what doesn't. You cook your own meals and switched out all your nasty gluten contaminated utensils and dishware with brand new uncontaminated dishes! You've even ventured out to some restaurants and try your hand at using gluten free dining cards and having customized meals. Heck, you could probably hold a small seminar and teach those gluten noobs a thing or two.

Level 4: Gluten NINJA
THE ULTIMATE LEVEL.When you become elevated to the gluten ninja status, which is a difficult thing to attain, you are the sensei of all things gluten. You're on top of the celiac disease news and research, you avoid almost 99.99% of contamination in all the foods you eat, you could easily win a speed game of Does this food product have gluten?, you make your own gfree bread and get this, no one can tell it doesn't have gluten!!!, you are a gluten free/celiac disease advocate and attend all those conferences, you work for Udi's or some other gluten free food industry, you can travel with ease with your planned gluten free itinerary, and finally, you're just cool because you're a ninja. And in what universe is being a ninja not totally awesome? That's right, none.

Unfortunately, I am not a ninja yet. In fact, far from it. But I'd like to think I'm getting a bit closer each and every day.

Anyway, the real point of this post, if there even was one, is to remind all of you out there who either have celiac disease, wheat or gluten intolerance, or have a loved one who has this allergy, that putting a little more positiveness in your life, or their life, never hurt anyone. I love putting a little bit of humor in everything-even my own disease. It makes it easier for me to cope that yes, I have a food allergy, and yes, I do have it for life. But, you know what? I'm perfectly okay with that! :)

The reason why I bring this up is because I've been reading so many blogs and comments lately that just ooze negativity, insecurity, hopelessness and depression over being diagnosed with a food allergy.

Well, I'm telling you now: it could be worse. And I'm saying this in all seriousness.

You are what you are and no amount of whining, complaining, crying or hating on those who don't have what you have is going to change who YOU are. Your biology will not change... but you can change your attitude. I know it's hard; I've been through my fair share of ordeals with the consequences of celiac disease.

But, know that you are never alone. Don't always believe what other people say, even some gfreers, who say that they never found happiness or contentment after they switched to a gfree diet. It all comes down to your outlook on life and what you think about yourself. Don't waste your time being negative when you could be spending your time enjoying and appreciating all the wonderful things about your diet. Sure, things don't always work out, but since when has life always dealt cards in your favor?

My message to you today my fellow gfreers: Accept your biology, appreciate your diet, and most importantly, love yourself fully and completely.

When you open your mind and stop wallowing in self pity and negative emotions about how having a gluten allergen is ruining your life and prospects, you will find that the gfree lifestyle is really not as bad as you think. If you need help, help is always within reach whether in your family, your friends, your faith, and even fellow gfree bloggers like T and I who will never hesitate to help a fellow celiac in need.

Stay positive and keep your head up!


PS. We would love if our readers, (even our silent ones who never comment or follow- we thank you anyways), could give us some feedback on what you would like T and I to talk about. We're pretty open to anything and we want to talk about things all of YOU are interested in. Or else, you'll just get beautiful articles from T and crazy rants and ideas from yours truly. :) Help us out and tell us what you would like to see discussed or ask us questions!!! We love reading all of them!



I comment! But well I always read your stuff. People should comment! Don't be shy. :D

I LOVE your posts:) Keep up whatever you are doing... Maybe a sample diet of your day? Sometimes it's helpful to see what others are eating, to help get out of a rut....